Monday, January 26, 2009

The End of Gifts

2009 January New York Gift Show

NY Gift Show: Sunday
I stumbled out of a warm bed before the birds this Sunday to “commute” to the New York Gift Show held twice a year at the Jacob Javitz conference center. The trip felt strange on many levels. I am attending the George Little run gift fair as a “buyer” after so many years as a “seller” working for Found Objects, the special gift company I left corporate America to co-found in 1993.

RIP Found Objects
Found Objects, the B2C and B2B specialty gift company Janet McKean and I founded in 1993 is closed for four years now after a ten year run. Some remembered, most looked with blank stares when I mentioned Found Objects. Four years is a long time in gift business tumult. More than Found Objects is gone; the IDEA of product representation is disappearing. Sales representation companies such as Found Objects are disintegrating. Gift sales representation will go the way of travel agents, insurance agents and stockbrokers. The web is not kind to middlemen.

When we created Found Objects in 1993 business-to-business (B2B) features commanded our attention. We knew we could serve customers better online than at biannual gift shows with such high exhibit prices. Our 10 x 20 booth cost $10,000. Add shipping + travel and we spent $15,000 to $20,000 every show. If sales representation as a business is dying the large event gift show is not far behind.

RIP NY Gift Show
George Little puts on a good show. Their shows include organization, categorization and rules and regulations. In the 1990's, when Found Objects paid princely sums to connect with Buyers at shows in New York, San Francisco, Atlanta and Dallas, gift fairs were the best way to connect with many buyers simultaneously. Sounds like George Little is a middleman? You have good ears.

Drawn a line between the web’s elimination of middlemen and last of the great gift shows? You know where George and Little are headed. Evidence of coming extinction was all around Jacob Javitz today. My favorite example is a conversation with Giftware News. A small booth just outside the General Gift section had an older gentleman sitting behind hundreds of copies of Giftware News. I asked if he would trade a blog reference for a copy of his magazine.

“You have to subscribe to get a copy,” the Giftware News man said.

“So you aren’t willing to trade a link from my blog for a copy?”

“No, the magazine has everything you need, but no you have to subscribe,” the man said dismissively as I left. I gave them a link anyway in the hopes they will learn how things work now (share and win, horde and die). I read 2% of the magazines I used to (like most of us I suspect). Pushing paper was a common show preoccupation. Web addresses were hard to find and few seemed to understand what to do with a web site.

Other ‘WE DON’T GET IT” examples:

  • No Twitter Feed for the show posted large and in charge so a community could form. I was half tempted to create a feed for the show but have other fish to fry.
  • Few URL’s in exhibitor’s booths but enough printed paper catalogs to choke a horse.
  • Haven’t seen a booth about iPod or iPhone accessories yet (will look tomorrow), in fact, while everyone actively used cell phones all of the convention, finding ways to sell gifts on or about cell phones was no where to be seen. If there were few webs addresses there were no MOBI sites at all.
  • No manufacturers pitching email newsletters as ways to keep in touch, learn about new products and provide input and feedback. In fact, 99% of the communication is uni-directional - they tell you how it is. Few opportunities to engage, interact and mold. Being pitched just makes me angry now. We interacted with thirty different companies and one made an informative, helpful presentation (more later).
  • Accent On Design, once the most innovative area with the show's hardest admission’s criteria, looked old, stale and boring. How many puffy pillows, ceramics printed with Egyptian Scarabs and high design portfolio’s do we really need on the planet? Whatever that number is, we are there.
  • Some talked the social responsibility talk but few walked the walk. It is not socially responsible to keep making DUMB stuff in STUPID ways. Your "organic" goods explained in a 300 page printed catalog means one eliminates the benefit of the other. I don't care how much post consumer waste content you use psychology is unchanged and still screaming inefficient consumption.
  • Museum Source, where Found Objects used to exhibit, was boring too. Q: What does it mean when the most innovative stuff is coming from publishers such as Chronicle and Phaidon (more about this later)? A: The gift business is in some serious deep kimchi baby.
  • Museums, once a source of gift innovation, seem asleep. I spent half a day looking for a great art watch online about a week before the show. Projects was the best site I found. I met Projects owner Jack Markuse today and he is a dedicated man with great taste in watches. I am going to buy a Tibor Kalman watch I’ve been thinking about. Pulling my cell out to check the time is getting old (see the Tibor watch I plan to buy). Tibor’s watch is rebel statement more than functional time piece, but it works for me. I hope there is a future in the art watch business, and if watches have any future it is in watches as fashion, as wearable art more than functional things. Yes you can still check the time, but you wear a watch now almost exclusively as jewerly. Jack is a good guy who gets it and Projects is a good one-stop site for art watches. You can buy a Tibor watch other places, but they all buy from Jack. I like to deal with the source and, for art watches, Jack is the source.
Where Did All The Innovative Gifts Go?
I met brave Megan Auman putting her considerable design talent and a big check on the line to create cool laser cut steel magazine racks and foot stools, but innovation was missing from the gift show today. Hopefully we will find the elusive "cool" and "new" at the piers tomorrow. In years past, the piers attracted more cutting edge vendors. Start-ups often can't afford the main hall. Let’s hope that proves true tomorrow or innovation may be absent at the 2009 NY Gift Show.

Why everything is the same.
We use the same tools, read the same design books, see the same movies and instantly see innovation online. This is good news and bad news. Design quality of everything is higher than ten years ago (the last time I was at this show), but the effect of general improvement is a lessening of “high design”. If everyone can use Adobe Suites to copy a prevailing look and feel then NO ONE is designing worth a hoot. Everything is better and it is sad.

Two other trends struck me. One is everything is producible for almost nothing. I spoke with a skin care line willing to put my label on a line of products for less than $2,000. Seth Godin discusses effects of so much excess production capacity in The Purple Cow and other books. If you aren’t doing something cooler than the next guy DON’T DO IT. Another way to say this is if everyone has easy cheap access to everything NOTHING IS SPECIAL. Google + Laptop or Google + Cell Phone and easy cheap access to everything is attainable so very few things at this year's January Gift Show seemed special. If your gift isn't "purple enough" save your cash and don't produce it. How can you know? Put up a web site and ask for feedback. I promise a free link to any site built to help anyone understand if their new creation is purple enough.

Recession Economics?
We are de-leveraging our culture, planet and selves. You would never know it. The 2009 New York Gift Show was stuffed with old school goofy stupid STUFF. There are “green” gifts. I heard one salesman talking to a buyer about a “green” board game. What I didn’t see or feel was any understanding about what it means to do things differently – to BUY LESS, to WANT LESS. To only add special things that provide meaning and care into our lives in exchange for money. De-leveraging means our requirements as buyers are higher. We require connection, fun, meaning and care for any purchase. If your gift doesn't bring sustainable joy, magic and fun in greater amounts than its human and planet costs STOP MAKING IT or go broke.

Americans will never want nothing. It isn’t in our nature, our genes or our history. We can, at the snap of fingers, change 180 degrees. We switched factories almost overnight from sewing machines to tanks. We moved women from home to factory and men to war. We are about to “de-leverage” with typical American ferocity.

I know this de-leveraging truth because, like all of us, my house is underwater (when I buy you should be selling and vice versa), my 401K is down 30% and, for the good of my company, I haven't asked for a raise for two years. I turned fifty a year ago and instantly was tired of chasing my economic tail. Consumption as redemption can’t survive close inspection. The music stops, there is no chair and you don’t care because you’ve seen a greater truth by force or necessity.

WE DON”T NEED HALF OF THE CRAP WE BUY. We buy from muscle memory, psychological needs or because we are bored. Place paper thin rationale next to REAL COST and we will DO THE RIGHT THING. This is another magical cultural characteristic; we are powerful, creative and on a mission. We need fewer tanks, cars, sewing machines and everything else. What we need is innovation and creativity and those were in short supply at the Javitz today. We all heard the maxim "Innovate or die." In this case innovate or an industry, the gift business, may follow cars, travel agents and stock brokers into that good night.

Heading to the piers on Monday with high hopes. Will report back.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Video ROI for E-Commerce

Lost In Video Space
I wandered the stacks at the Vassar Library when mentally stuck. "The Stacks" were rows upon rows of books, tomes really, in the library basement. Every now and again a small desk was tucked into an awkward corner. The stacks were not a place to hook up except for the most courageous or non-allergic. Since I fit neither description, I used the stacks for isolation and contemplation. When I couldn't find the unifying thread of seemingly random thoughts I headed for the library's basement.

For the last week I've been wandering the metaphorical stacks trying to create a "new e-commerce math" to explain what adding video to an e-commerce web site does or can do. Usually two numbers is enough to begin a model and that is proving true in this case. I will share my work soon so others can comment on it, make it better or just steal it outright (lol). What I know already is video as a way to tell a story on an e-commerce web site can be rocket fuel inexpensively (relative to other marketing) and significantly increasing customer conversions (buying) while making the experience more fun. Video on e-commerce sites is a clear winner from my early work. Not entirely accurate, video in its current form is a clear winner and its current form came about after several miserable failures (like most things). Will return with more soon.

Martin

Monday, January 12, 2009

SEO Writing

Writing For Search Engines
I am working with good solid writers from LifeTips today and finding common ground with work I do to help college students with their application essays. Writing is writing, but online writing, also called search engine optimization writing or SEO writing, is a special talent. Here is the note I shared with our LifeTips writers:

Not a bad first pass at this article. There are several "Martin Rules" I want to share. These are rules I use to help my writing have the speed, tone and tenor needed. I've attached two edits of the first article. The red edit is there to give you an idea about how I am editing. The black is for me to see the article without all the distractions. I made several changes to the black (and this is also how I like to work) that are not included in the red. I "see" the article so much better when the tracking is taken off. I would say we are 80% there on the first cut, so that is not bad at all. Here are my "rules":

• Speed
Our language has to be fast. Life is crazy, so we must bury the hook fast and keep it buried (i.e. keep our reader's attention). No one reads anything boring anymore, so speed of voice and a quick pace is key. Openings are VERY important and must FLY. I cut out the first 3 sentences from the opening in the draft because I couldn't follow it. I call these "hesitation cuts" because many writers amble about before getting to their opening. No time for that here, any ballast must be thrown over the ballooon. When in doubt cut and then cut again. Get right to it and be specific about what is going to be covered. Tell them what you are about to tell them, tell them and then tell them what you told them is not a bad rule for this kind of writing. WIIIFM (what is in it for me) has to be immediate and clear. YOU GET BETTER is always our first benefit. You don't get divorced, you love your life and find happiness are others, but it all starts with YOU GET BETTER.

• The / That Rule

One of my teacher's taught me to check every use of every "the" or "that" by reading sentences without it. When a sentence reads better (i.e. in this context it reads faster) without "the" or "that" then drop it. You will see about 10 examples of places I dropped the article in my edits.

• Be Specific
We are experts in this area, so we use strong declarative statements. Many of my edits were to make sentences stronger sounding by dropping equivocation. Words such as "some", "a lot of" and "its tempting to" tend to dilute our expertise and slow the pace of the text down.

• Repetition
This is the first article so repetition is to be expected. But, there has to be new information not the same information over and over again. I wrote in a new section into tip #9 because, in its original format, I didn't feel like the tip met the title (new tricks).

• Organization
I like to organize web writing in smaller more digestible bits, thus the Tip format here. Our customers are older and reading long paragraphs online is not something they like to do. Most will print out our articles and read the hard copy. Even then, small "sound bites" help.

• Sentence Structure
Our voice online is more Hemingway than Faulkner. Avoid conjunctions. Instead, break a joined sentence into two sentences. You will see my shortening in many of my edits. This is a technique I use to speed up my writing too. Short, sharp sentences make text fly. Long (more than 25 or 30 words) sentences slow down pace as readers try to process. Let's make our writing short and sharp. When in doubt cut, then cut again. When in doubt separate and then separate again. I recognize changing a voice in this way is hard. Writers want to SAY things. In our case it is better to SHOW things and long sentences hurt depiction (in my experience). Long sentences work great for southern Gothic angst, but that is not what we are doing here (thankfully).

• Where is The New?There is always something new and we MUST find at least one (and preferable 2 or 3) "new" things. This article is very main stream and that is fine, but where is the section on something few have read about before? 99.99% of our customers will never actually do the new thing, but that isn't the point. There is a Martha Stewart component to what we do and it is VERY important to establish credibility. If we are only talking about the same old things in the same old way we are not doing our jobs. There is always something new and we must find it, discuss it in a knowledgeable way to be who we are (a leading expert in our field) because new = expert, new = water cooler conversation, new = viral marketing. Don't worry about legitimacy; we have Ph.D.'s for that, you just find the wild and crazy and be sure to include it. I will clear it with the brain trust.

I have to edit most of my writing at least 3 times. Even then I could go to any article on my blog and make changes to 20% of the text. Online speed and frequency is more important than perfect, but let's take another pass or two at this article before we load it to the site.



If writing was easy we would all be F. Scott or Hemingway. Writing is hard and online writing is harder still. Hope this note helps you write your next SEO article.

Martin

Related articles:

SEO Writing Tips 1 - 5


SEO Writing Tips 6 - 10

Great Web Writing

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Friday, January 9, 2009

Life's Unknown Impact

It's A Wonderful Life
Sometime, like all of us, I wonder if my life helped anyone. The older I get the more important it is to help, to be of service. On Christmas Eve, the day I was having knee surgery, a student I helped admit to Vassar wrote me a magical "It's A Wonderful Life" note (some details have been hidden to protect its author's personal information):

PH's Christmas Eve Note
It is Christmas Eve 2008. I would like to paint a pic of how I got to this obscure site. I was having a drink, listening to the Moody Blues(without other substances for about 20 years, very strange), and thinking of the day that I met Dr. Leary at VC. I was a very naive Freshmen or so then, just experiementing with mind expansion, and I asked him, "was it all worth it" he replied, "it was for me" but something to the effect of caveat emptor. I did not heed. Though I did graduate in ** then to NYU for masters then CUNY for PHD program...Ginsburg Institute, all the happy horse..you know shit., I have found myself in the middle age quandary of failure thanatos-regret. I wish I had done more with what was given to me at VC. There is no real point other than the irony of the Internet age and how , if you were assistant ad. dircetor at VC in 81, probably helped to admit me--or probably did so directly. Colton ( MS Note: this is Colton Johnson, Dean of Students, whose office I lived above in my junior year) was a dear man and good friend, who helped me with many of my demons.

And to get through at the time (after all this time I think of him--a truly kind man, who would not play academia politics--which I am so painfully aware). Do you know where he is? (MS Note: Unfortunately I do not, but hope wherever Colton is he is doing well as PH's Note is right he is a good and kind man). So I embarked on a search to see how many other famous encounters were real or just a fragment of a mnemonic delusion from some kid from the Bronx (my statement (MS Note: I think PH means his college admission's essay here) might have been bullshit too, but I thought it genuine at the time). I would ask that if you could only acknowledge receipt of this message--no comment necessary) (MS Note: I sent PH an email tonight). I promise to amuse you and tell you about the time that I stood up Brooke Shileds--when she was trying to decide between Vassar and Princeton(shame she was definitely Vassar material), and she was staying above me in Noyes Dorm. I have not, let us say, managed things well (euphemism!), and the crossroads are here again. But now not so freely chosen as they involve health issues--so I am told time is limited.. But I didn't write to complain about that--only to reach out to someone, to thank, and to confirm if some of these bizarre experiences were true.


Martin's Thoughts
Yes, PH those experiences you remember were not a figment of your or Dr. Leary's imagination. I knew Timothy Leary had a place near Vassar, but I never had a chance to meet him. I moved PH's note to this location on my blog so I could hide PH's personal information. It came to me in a comment. It is a very special note for me. PH's note tells me at a point in my life I helped make a difference. I was "of service".

I can hear magic and grace in PH's note. Yes there is fear and loss too. PH, what I know for sure is whatever is happening is what is supposed to be happening. Purpose is about desire, passion, art and intention. When you hear a certain kind of health news it is easy to wipe away millions of connections and meaning (in your life). You don't see your life's forest of meaning. Hard to see trees, even tall fat ones, when overwhelmed.

I met Elizabeth Edwards by chance after watching a movie tonight. She was standing next to her husband in the lobby of the movie theater. Elizabeth is very sick. She is a warrior who is centered, busy and VERY SICK. What I found inspirational was how Elizabeth moved the focus to me in an elegant practiced way during our brief conversation. John was there too, but I wanted to talk to Elizabeth. She knows a truth we all face - our time is not infinite. I felt inspired and hugged her before leaving.

Elizabeth, you and I know life ends. You might look at the scope of her life and think, "she has clearly made a difference so her life has meaning and mine does not." It doesn't work that way. Every moment of every life has meaning, joy, magic and all of life packed into it. Your life is connected to mine thirty years ago. Mine is connected to Elizabeth Edwards tonight. All of life is in EVERY moment.

There is meaning we know. I think of this as the tip of the iceberg. There is meaning we create but never know until a former student, now a Ph.D., takes a moment to share a note on Christmas Eve (appropriate enough). Your life, my life and Elizabeth Edward's life is not the sum of our parts. It is much more. We are time bound so our vision of this truth is limited. Know that your life brought joy and magic into mine this day, you are my "It's A Wonderful Life" moment this year. I suspect there are many other people you've touched but can't see or couldn't see on 12.24. You are in a forest of thick tall trees you just don't know it. You helped make me aware of one of my hidden trees. Thanks.

Your friend, fellow Vassar alum and someone who is glad you are here. Please do share more stories. I am glad you stood up to Brooke since she made such a bad decision (attending Princeton instead of Vassar) :).

Martin

P.S. I am very proud of you for earning a Ph.D. I never had the stones to do that and admire you for the effort and skill it took.

Meeting Elizabeth Edwards

Hugging Elizabeth Edwards
Coming out of Jim Carey's movie Yes Man (funny and not bad) tonight I noticed a commotion in the lobby. John and Elizabeth Edwards were talking to an older couple. The Edwards live not far from Durham in Chapel Hill. John went off to find a pen to sign an autograph so I had a moment alone with Elizabeth. I introduced myself and asked how she was doing.

Have you ever met someone for just a few moments and felt like you can see all of who they are in those few moments? Elizabeth Edwards is one of those people. It is clear Elizabeth is in the battle of her life. She told me she is having chemo infusions every two weeks at UNC. We talked about her treatment and battle. I wanted to tell her how much of an inspiration she is for everyone who has cancer or knows anyone who has cancer (and that is a LARGE group), but I forgot.

John came over and Elizabeth turned to him and said, "John this is Martin, it is Martin right, Smith." That move was so practiced, caring and elegant she has clearly done it a million times. Here is a courageous woman meeting a complete stranger in the lobby of a movie theater probably feeling like someone just hit her with a shovel and she was worried about me. I could see in that moment how much his success came from Elizabeth's help. John is smart, very good looking and charming. Elizabeth is a warrior and, I suspect, a big part of how John connects with people. It broke my heart. Vaya con Dios Elizabeth my good thoughts, admiration and love go with you and THANKS. There are a handful of people who change the world and you are one of those special warriors. Who you are makes us all better. THANKS. Wish I hugged you longer.

Martin

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Infinite Inventory Book Titles - Need Help

HELP!
Writing a book based on my Infinite Inventory blog post. Hope to publish by the summer. Need a catchy title. Here is what I have so far:

Infinite Inventory: Increasing Search Marketing Sales While Reducing Operating Costs In A Tough Business Climate

or

Infinite Inventory: Moore's Law, E-Commerce, Saving Ford

or

Infinite Inventory: How Moore's Law can increase your search marketing sales.

or

Infinite Inventory: Why the future of E-commerce is "selling" everything on the planet.

Or

[ insert better idea here ]

Please share ideas and suggestions.

Thanks,

Martin

Read Martin's Infinite Inventory Post

Monday, January 5, 2009

Martin Apology

As some of my friends and readers know I had knee surgery on 12.24. I am doing great and just rode a bike for the first time in a month today. Am I GLAD there is ADVIL, yes, but I rode five miles with little pain. Pain is happening now as I sit in bed and listen to Ron Carter play the base. My operation, a "scope-job" to clean out clutter of too many hard cuts on a football field (back in the day), lunging overheads and other youthful indiscretions, HURT there for a bit. Getting old is not for weenies I've discovered, but I am on the mend and have 6 miles of the 10,000 or so I need to ride in 2009 booked and in my legs and new knee.Only 9,994 left (lol).

I will be catching up with email and correspondence this week. Please accept my apology if you've emailed me and heard nothing back. I will get dug out sometime this week.

Thanks and hope everyone had a great holidays and New Year.

Martin

Martin's Wizard Training


Martin’s Wizard Bona Fides
When I was ten my father decided I would be a good salesman. My father is a good salesman. Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree was what my father was thinking (I think). My father met a GREAT salesman named Roger something-or-another, let’s call him Roger Roger (in a direct homage to Joseph Heller’s Catch-22’s Major Major). Roger Roger created a “course” called “Roger Ready”.

Getting my dad to part with over a thousand 1968 dollars so I could attend “Roger Ready” is how I know Roger Roger was a great salesman. The other reason is Roger was selling air making up “Roger Ready” as he went along. Every week for a full semester my mother would cart me off to the world headquarters of Roger Ready, an office building in North Dallas.

Roger’s office was a two-room suite, no assistant but a desk in the outer room where his “students” could do “work” he gave us. Some weeks Roger had a game plane for our "classes" together honed by the fifteen or so other “Roger Ready-ites” he was tutoring. Some weeks it was clear, even to my ten-year-old mind, I was the beta, the test dog for an exercise. If it went well his next student would be asked to riff my exercise. If it didn't go well I am confident the exercise would never see the light of day again.

I remember my first and last Roger Ready “class”. I don’t remember how dad pitched Roger Ready to me, but there was incentive - the deal was an extra hunting trip if I successfully completed Roger Ready. I am betting that no one “failed” Roger Ready. Success and failure were up to Roger Roger. I remember my dad saying something about a “full report” at the end of the course.

This “report” would turn out to be as scarce as my “permanent record”. The incentive of the extra hunting trip hooked me. Greed got me to go and fear kept me going. The fear of the infamous “full report” was very motivating. This is another important life lesson (greed + fear works better than either alone).

My first Roger Ready day included mom. This was the only day she rode the elevator with me. I remember holding hands until we were inside Roger Roger’s office. My mother wore gloves in those days. She had on a black dress, a pillbox hat, short black gloves and a coat. It was January and “cold” in Dallas meaning it was in the fifties or something.

I went to Roger Ready after school for an hour a week. We were right on three o’clock and Roger extended his hand and thanked my mother for being on time. He gave mom a shortened version of the elevator pitch he must have used to win my dad and asked if my mother would mind waiting in the outer room. I thought that was pretty cool, just Roger Roger and me.

Once alone Roger asked me questions about what my ten-year-old life. Football, riding my bike and hunting with my dad occupied my life. He looked as if I just confirmed every thought he was having. His face lit up with a big smile. He leaned forward handing me a tape dispenser off his desk. “Sell me this tape dispenser,” Roger Roger said sitting back in his chair expectant. He didn’t say anything. Silence hung thick in the air.

My first lesson in a salesman truth - silence MUST be filled. Roger was using his own tools. Humans MUST talk and if you are ten talking, running and getting dirty is what you do, it’s your job. I babbled about the “features” of the tape dispenser in random order and with every feature colliding full on into the previous.

Within five minutes of meeting Roger Roger two important sales lessons: define products using "features" because those features are relevant to customers (or a silent Roger Roger), and SILENCE is a vacuum that must be filled. Roger was encouraging and silent. I stammered to a stop. “Great job Marty,” Roger was the first person to call me Marty, “but I want to share three things with you.”

Roger, I would learn, always shared 3 things. They were always three different things. He never shared five or ten things, always three. “You didn’t look me in the eye (ONE), you spoke too fast (TWO) and you held the tape dispenser during your presentation next time give it to me (THREE),” Roger said bending over taking the tape dispenser for emphasis. “Try it again,” he requested. I must have made my presentation ten times.

At the end of each attempt Roger would go back to his first three suggestions and tell me how much improvement he observed. Feedback was always limited to “look in eye”, “slow down” and “share”. He never added new things to work on. There were always three and we would work those three during the session. I got to know the game. I would ask him questions about something other than the three. I got to know the game. I tried time and again to get him to discuss a fourth or fifth thing. He never did.

He would say, "Yes Marty I can see how you might have such a question, but let's concentrate on our 3 things for today," and then he would recite "our" three things for the session. By the end of the first session I looked him in the eye, I shared the dispenser and I slowed down so much it felt like I was asleep.

I remember being a little dazed after our first hour. Mom asked me what we did. I told her, “I sold him a tape dispenser.” She laughed, pulled her gloves down tight, straightened her hat and drove us home. I went to Roger Ready every week until June. My mother stopped coming up to Roger Roger’s office after the first class.

The last Roger Ready class was the first time I met other Roger Ready-ites. Roger, being a GREAT salesman, knew he needed a big finish. He used our last four sessions to organize a short play. Every Roger Ready-ite had a role. I was the youngest student, but one of the bigger kids. Roger decided I would be the Wizard. The Wizard was the last scene in the Roger Ready play. I had to have a flowing black robe and black pointed hat with stars on it. Mom made the hat and got help sewing the robe.

The Wizard started with lines, but Roger kept reducing them. I thought my lines were disappearing because I sucked. Roger told me, “Marty you use SILENCE so well I want you to show the audience just how powerful that tool can be.” Like I said, Roger was a GREAT salesman, always on message. By our last rehearsal my line was, “Magic Happens.”

Roger explained that I had as much time on stage as other students. He wanted most of my time to be used in a dramatic entrance with my robe twirling and a look into the eyes of every audience member. Once I held the moment I would say, “Magic Happens” and sweep my sleeve over my face and run out into the wings as dramatically as my entrance. There was no way to practice this running start and robe twirl because Roger only had the venue for the show. “We will just have to wing it,” Roger told me clapping my back.

The night of the performance I was nervous. I waited in the wings and watched the other Roger-ites perform speeches (they still had lines LOL). Roger stood behind me with his hand on my right shoulder. He would cue each “act” saying their lines softly under his breath. There was little need; few Roger-ites flubbed their lines. “Your turn wizard,” Roger said releasing my shoulder.

I sprinted out to the center of the stage, twirled my robe and held my knobby stick up. I waited calmly looking at each set of eyes in the first row. I held the silence. It was thick in the air. Someone cleared his throat and I let the silence grow. Sure I didn't remember my lines, the audience got nervous. I shouted, “Magic Happens,” turned on my heels and ran back toward Roger.

Silence followed; there was some laughter from my dad, more silence and then applause. “Great job,” Roger Roger said as he went to make his “final report” to parents of fifteen lucky Texans. It was June 1968, the Summer of Love. I took off my hat, tossed my robe to mom and went into the hall thinking how much fun it was to be a Wizard.

Coming Soon:
Martin’s Wizard Manifesto

Related Posts



Illustration Link
I lifted the illustration above from a talented artist named Brain Soriano. Go to his site and check out his storyboards for Coke, VERY COOL... http://briansorianoart.com/illustration/sketches/17wizard.html.
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